Misery

It seems as though I am doomed to be miserable, unhappy, and depressed for the rest of my life. Just when things were starting to look up for me, a sudden nightmare over-clouds my happiness. As I am writing this, I feel a huge whole in my stomach. I am fighting to keep the tears from pouring out of me. Me, out of all people, I am forced to be strong when all I want is for the earth to open up and eat me. I thought I had finally found the true meaning of happiness, but destiny decided to play one of it's most cruel and hurtful jokes on me. As I am here in my room trying to let out this pain in some way, my dad is at a jail cell probably cold, hungry, sick... terrified. I am sick and tired of this fucken nightmare some like to call life. I am tired of all this bullshit, of all the pain, the hurt. I wish I could vanish from the phase of the Earth. I don't know what to do and the not knowing is what it is fucken killing me.